Different people have different ideas of how soon people should meet up after becoming acquainted via online dating.
As a general rule, it’s women who usually tend to be a bit more cautious (for obvious reasons) but you may well find some men who prefer to take their time, as well as women who like to move faster.
Some dating sites are more likely to appeal to those who want to take their time (such as those sites that cater to those seeking serious relationships) while others will have a larger concentration of fast paced daters. So how do you decide on the bes time? Really, there are no set rules in the online dating world that dictate how soon you should meet up. As long as you follow the safety rules, you could technically arrange to meet up immediately. Most people, though, prefer at least a minimal level of online vetting before agreeing to meet up. After all, that’s why online dating sites are there - to help save you time and money by allowing you to get answers to the important questions without leaving your home. Unless there are limiting factors (such as distance, etc.) you should aim to meet up sooner rather than later, though, as there is only so much information the online dating world can provide without face to face interaction. If you have been speaking to someone for about a week online and on the phone, you should know whether you would like to arrange a meet up. If you have been speaking to someone for two weeks or more and are still uncertain, then either there is something about the person you are talking to that is making you uneasy and suspicious (in which case, follow your instincts and end your acquaintance) or you are generally suspicious of the online dating medium. When approaching the subject: - Consider your own comfort level: what do you want and need to know about someone before you know whether he or she is someone you want to see in person?
- Never be pressured into meeting up before you are ready: people should respect your limits online, as well as offline. If someone is trying to pressure you into meeting up before you are ready - keep away.
- Respect other people’s comfort level: some people like to move slower than others. If you want to meet up with someone and they are not ready, try to find out the cause, keep chatting and try not to come across too pushy. They are within their rights to go slowly, but you are also perfectly within your rights to move on if you think someone is wasting your time.
- Remember: it’s better to label yourself paranoid and give up on online dating than go on a date with someone who makes you feel uncomfortable. If you think you may be over-cautious but are still worried, arrange a daytime meeting somewhere public (which is a good idea anyway) and take a friend along (this advice is aimed at women who would bring a female friend. Women tend to react unfavourably when men bring a male surprise guest to anything but a double or group date
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Labels: How soon should you meet up? |
